Is there still life after a brief death? The answer to that questions lies within the individual’s experience. It lies within the desire and choice to move forward. How does one move forward all while trying to understand why you received a second chance at life? I will let you know when I have the answers.
On January 13th, 2018 sometime between 3am and 5am in the morning, while in the emergency room of INOVA Hospital and suffering a Pulmonary Embolism I knew I was dying and I did. I went into cardiac arrest and have the medical records to prove it. I am grateful for GOD’s blessing and great nurses both working in my favor. I lived! I awoke in ICU 38 hours later and I was surprise. Surprised because what I was going through 38 hours earlier was pain, passing out and not being able to breathe. I was not sure I would survive. I talked to God and made peace with my impending death. I was ready to die.
After leaving the hospital five days after my incident and as the weeks pass, I was grateful to be alive. I had told my story to a few friends, especially experiencing the after affects of CPR. I mean how CPR is performed on drama shows is nothing compared to what it takes to restart a heart. I had the bruised deep blue black chest to prove it. I will never again, under estimate, what it takes to pull someone out of cardiac arrest. Two of my brothers were there by side through everything. The rest of my family providing their support from miles away was great. I am grateful to a really good friend who let me express my experience the weeks following suffering my PE. My main conversation was and still is why was I given a second chance. What does this second chance mean. You see my journey now has more questions.
My path has been altered and I need to make the most of this second chance. Not because I feel obligated but, there is so much good to be experienced. Good food, good reads, good people and good times. I don’t want to hold on to certain meaninglessness any longer or stay in places to long. The old me would have tried to fix broken folk that’s not ready to be fixed or encouraged, but after my experience I do have some different views. I always want to maintain my gratefulness and patience but, I don’t want to stay in uncomfortable situations to long. I want to live and be okay with living my life and that means pushing through pain and disappointment. It means walking away from situations that I know are over and stop trying to give life to things that are done. This will allow me to focus on situations that I can save folk and have a positive impact. A good life is all want.
The new me despise pain and will pray about it with a quickness. I do not need to demonstrate that I can handle pain. I need to show that I am wise enough to go get it resolved.