Unpacking the Pretentious Woman

The pretentious girl, in this social world, making demands with your opulent skills. If you are a pretentious lady, woman or girl know that some men and women will not understand you. Others will find you intimidating or formidable. Intimidating or difficult is not your end game or general purpose. It may not be your approach.  Because others may not or will not understand you, it doesn’t mean you’re “too much”. In perspective, women for the most part tend to reconcile with other women. If your not demanding, surely there is a part of you longing to be towering. There is nothing wrong with operating a pretentious posture through a well mannered approach.


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There Is Nothing Wrong With Making Demands

Ladies, being demanding is not the same as being fussy. Just don’t be fussy and think you are being demanding. It is okay to want respect and to remind the masses of your importance to a mission or situation.  It is even okay to express your stature. Nobody should be better at selling who you are than you.

Don’t Compromise Your Value

Pretentious lady, continue to value yourself and ensure other respect your value. If you believe the people you surround yourself with on daily bases will truly understand your posture of being demanding think again.  Every now and again you have to remind them who you are, so always know your value.

Your Pretentious Dopeness Will Catch Side Eyes

This dopeness is the urban dictionary meaning and not the Webster meaning. It is your outward display of qualities, self attributes and capacity that best describe you. You will have a class of women who think you are a little to brash. You know the saying ladies, you should be seen and not heard. There will be times when you need to be heard and your style and qualities won’t fit inside of traditional archetypes as a means of carrying out the message. Allow your skill, abilities and dopeness to lead the way. The side eyes will get over it.


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Be Pretentiously Gracious

In your pretentious posture avoid being grumpy or grouchy. Embrace a gracious stance. Avoid appearing disgruntled or being labeled as snippy or short-tempered. You know what word comes to mind if you are appear cranky.  Gracious and pretentious can exist in the same space ladies. It adds ease to the high and mighty attitude that maybe projected. The act of being cavalier as a woman is still unbelievable to some women, so operate in your graciousness.

It is important that attitude is not the message that is projected when a pretentious woman decides to speak or act. The message should be a reminder of who you are, your value, skill, standout abilities and requirements. Allow your hallmark self to flourish.

Self Edification Is Beautiful

I could discuss life all day with family, friends and strangers. All of the delicate and harsh experiences that happens. I’ve listen to some noteworthy experiences from people I know and people I meet in my travels. Nothing is more important than a mature conversation amongst family, friends and strangers. Sharing of ones lore can be meaningful and build new bridges between people where none existed.

The window to the world, consist of experiencing views or listening to others sharing traditions of culture, travel, food and family beliefs. It is how we identify our likeness and expand and build on our base and edify more than just your mind. The proper contact will edify the common base in life, the things you are accustom to in life.  What you eat and drink and what you do before you go to bed at night will evolve.  The experience is worth it, through the proper approach. The bottom line is to edify your life to grow ones self, now go to your daily destiny. 

Let’s Rap About Hip Hop Music for a Minute

I would like to talk Hip Hop music for just a few minutes. I have to admit that the Breakfast Club is one of my guilty pleasures which,  I watch on Revolt television. I love the interviews with today artists and yesterday artist who paved the way. For me, it has taken the place of all the music dialogue shows I use to watch in the 90s, when BET was 90s hot. Let me tell you, 90s hot was blazing!

I am and will always be a 90s hip hop/rap head. It’s not because of my age but, because rap lyrics were less about clout chasing, pill popping and lean drinking. Thank you Snoop Dog for the lesson on Clout Chasers. I will always love the high energy dancing of hip hop. I have seen the inclusion of my many different cultures over the years embrace Hip Hop dancing.  Why am I talking Hip Hop music and dance together, because I cannot talk one without the other. Both have always complimented each other. The dance is an additional exaggeration to express the music. It’s an accentuation of the lyrics like the videos but, let me digress and refocus.


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The 2000s increased the existence of independent artist through multiple media outlets and web capabilities. Everywhere I turn on social media, there is music and videos from multiple avenues , from different people promoting their music. It can be an overload and the hype is one hundred times greater than it use to be in the 90s.  Even through all the self promotions and horrible attempts to be a Rap artist,  I have found some artists that’s worth my music app. Who made my list? My list is short, but effective and promising. Let’s just say I don’t part with my money easily, but I did invest in their music. I was not disappointed. My list sounds like:

  • Kendrick Lamar
  • J. Cole
  • Rae Sremmurd
  • ASAP Rocky
  • Nipsey Hussle

My music collection still contains 90 artist and any of their recent music. The Straight Outta Compton soundtrack did not disappoint and it was worth the purchase. Enter the millenniums, J. Cole album, Kendrick Lamar’s album and the double album from Rae Suremmurd are outstanding. ASAP Rocky slaps us with hot collaborations on his new album and Nipsey Hussle brings it in with the Victory Lap…West Coast styling! All is not lost in Rap music there is still good music being made.  I had to search and dig deep in 2018, but I found some artist that are and will trail blaze Hip Hop music. So, when someone says decent artist or good rap music does not exist in 2018, I must protest. They or it exist, you just have wave through all the garbage to get to real solid gold.

This is me, holding the mic just for today. Go to your daily destiny!


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One Holiday Celebration Down And One To Go

I came of out of Thanksgiving Day feeling really great about going home. I spent time with my parents, siblings, nieces, nephews and grand-nephews. My folks home was full of loud voices, football and good food. Thanksgiving was the prelude to the next 27 days as of today.

Driving back home on Sunday, because I live 7.5 hours away from where I grew up, I noted that I was tired. The last week and the weekend was catching up to me. I knew what that meant. I need another day to recover from the four day celebration and the 7.5 hour drive in major traffic.

It is Monday morning and I require more sleep and I need two more bubble bath to take the previous week’s celebration down a notch. What I am learning this morning is I will be doing the minimum for the remainder of the holiday season.

I should have planned to take today off from work as well. I love traveling for the holidays or for fun but, I am still learning how to recover. With that being noted, let me have my Monday morning coffee and find some strength. No stress!

The Potential Underbelly Of A Good Deed

Choose Your Good Deeds Carefully

Don’t let anyone try to force good deeds on you. Even a good deed comes with consequences if you are too eager to perform it but, haven’t given the proper thought to
how it may change your current situation. When family is involve, it makes it difficult to reject helping out.

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Family is sacred and important, after all did I mention it’s family. The blood that binds us and no blood is bound tighter than that of siblings. So, when the opportunity arises to perform a good deed for a sibling, what should you do? Dip your big toe in the good deed pool without any measure of how it will impact you, or give it a few days before you provide the answer?

A  close and important friend of mine, Tina, decided that she would take her brother in as a roommate. In January of this year, Tina’s brother landed a job in the same city as her. Tina sporadically decided that a roommate would be great, and what better person than her second favorite sibling.

What’s hard about extending a kind jester to her favorite? Nothing at the beginning, until the days turn into months.

The Good Deed Results Ensued

Tina’s apartment is average size and has two bedrooms. When she selected the apartment the idea was for the extra bedroom to be used as a guess room, to accommodate a stay not more than a week.  Her dwelling has an all white kitchen with white cabinets, chrome handles and wood floors.  Those two features were important to her during the choosing process. In fact, Tina never had any intention of doing a lot of cooking, so she was never concerned with her white cabinets requiring nothing more than a normal Clorox cleaning every two weeks.

I mean the girl has earned her right to have her place the way she chooses. She has a good career and she selected this place particularly because she can afford it. The bathroom and common room is not huge, but it was enough for her to clean every weekend. And, the dinning area she turned into her office with four mahogany bookshelves from the ceiling to the floor. Complimented by a mahogany desk with all the cool home office items.


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Tina’s brother is in his late 30s and just finished graduate school and Tina is in early 40s. Tina thought that roommates would a great way to go. It gives her brother an opportunity to reestablish himself and save some money so he can afford his own place in a year. Plus, Tina could use the extra hand because she deals with arthritis. It’s one of the reasons why she choose her apartment to be easy to clean and with the kitchen that opens up to the common room and office. Not too big and not too small.

Enter Tina’s brother and as he settled in, in late January she knows he’s a workout and prefers to do meal prep.  It is his way of life. What Tina didn’t count on was once her brother moved in, how much space she would be giving up and sharing. In addition, she didn’t realize that because her brother meal preps, which means he cooks a lot,  that her lovely white cabinets would not be so white.

The cleaning schedule she originally had in place would have to be more frequent. Not what she was planning.  She also realized that she was now giving up 80% of her fridge space due to meal prepping. Tina had not thought about how her good deed would begin to alter her life more than she wanted it to!

More importantly the closet space she lost was unbelievable because her brothers bedroom did not have a walk-in closets. Tina remembered that the guest bedroom was never for long-term occupancy.

Tina began to wondered had she volunteered for this good deed with haste. Had she not considered what having a roommate would mean. How long can she do this before she becomes the nagging sibling. Tina wonders if she will be able to make it through one more year.

I personally believe she will make it through another year. And, as her closes confidant, I remind her to utilize her brothers presences wisely. He can help her, just as much she is assisting him with living quarters. She should consider all the task she wants to get accomplish, but her arthritis limits her and leverage his availability. Not to mention, she’s been wanting a workout partner and what better than a sibling whose atheltics and a health driven. How do you make a sporadic good deed work, you make small changes and compromises. But, you remind the person that they may have to do more adjusting to your ways and you less to their.

Bottom-line have the conversation and set the expectations.

Supernatural Wonderlust

No vampires, werewolves or witches! Evening drama is about to hit a slump in my life. After eight years of fangs, wolf paws, blood spells and the other side what is next for the fan communities that relied on Vampire Diaries for their fix of the mysteries and supernatural events?

I mean we have the Originals and Supernatural. I personally require some mystery, drama and supernatural wrapped in a hit in your face show that makes me rush home from work, ready to tweet and be dramatized! I am talking writing, directing and acting so good, it makes you wonder why you chose B-School over Film School.

It’s the Fall of the year for heaven sakes. I require wounds that heal after a dagger attack,drama, family secrets coming to life, the occult family, the star crossed lovers and all town living. I want blood! Whatever the Fall line up brings, just tell the damn story better than well! Don’t screw it up! You can’t fool your viewers by dressing up a scene with pretty. The storyline has to be there or it won’t matter if you have vampires, werewolves, witches or whatever it is not going to work. Make it believable and relatable in its fictional state. Make the viewer want to be in the scene and that ladies and gentlemen is good television. I want some!

Sage Smudging Your Home

We all have our ways of relaxing and seeking clarity. We all have some means of ensuring protection over our home and properly cleansing it. For me, I believe in cleansing out negative energies or forces that seek to disturb my environment or living. Smudging is quite the common ritual or event that leans on ensuring negative energy is not ensued on my personnel dwellings or take up permanent residence.

Sage Smudging is a simply way to add another level of spiritual cleansing against unwelcome energies which may exist and to raise vibrations in your environment . I don’t pretend to be an expert in this area but, I spend time researching and consulting with those who are. Negative energies in the forms of ions do happen and will exist in the environment and smudging is a method of clearing out negative energy.

The act of Sage Smudging is simple. You light one end of the smudge stick such as letting it catch fire. As it begins to smoke? you work the smoke through the corners of your home. These areas are where negative energies tend to get stuck or reside and needs clearing. You then lay the smudge stick on a dish designed for this activity and let it smoke out. Meditation is good at this point to bring clarity into your presences. It’s a practice used by Shamans for centuries.

The activity can be practice anytime and as much as you need it. Enjoy!