lifestyle Archives

Your Life Through Someone Else’s Eyes May Surprise You

Posted on May 23, 2020 by Melinda Milhouse

Have you ever wondered what your life looks like through someone else’s eyes? Honestly, it is probably something you never think on. But if you do think on it and play the scenario over and over in your head, it is interesting. Your idea of how they see you either underscores your life or drastically over evaluates its.

Friends or associates who know you and your family often give subtle hints on how they view you. You must listen closely; in some fashion they probably have some farfetched idea about pieces of your life. Here is the thing, you have probably done it too. This conversation is not to point fingers. However the mere curiosity of how your life appears to an outsider might be interesting. You may find their notions or ideas about you laughable, inflated, or on point.

Importantly, even your best friends may misjudge your lifestyle. At some you may get and opportunity to approach that point that unreal perception and that will be your time to launch you.

Here is a look at three areas of your life that friends or colleagues may have preconceive notions.

You Walk Around Like You’re Better Than Others

This can be an all-time favorite. It so absurd because the judgement is mostly driven by lack of real knowledge or relationship with the person. If someone looks at you in this fashion, it probably out of jealousy or bad information. There could be other reasons, so do not be surprise. People tend to invent their own realty. People who are not friends or acquaintances certainly will mistake who you are. When it is time to apologize, if the person is real, you will hear, we miss read you. We thought that you thought that you were better than other people. This is because people do not take the time to know you. The real you!

Truth be told, people will look at you and they will draw this conclusion. Notably, it may be based on how you look, how you act, or your family ties in the community. Normally, there is just a simple misrepresentation of what folk hear in passing, and no genuinely getting to know you, yet.

Importantly, they will latch on to their belief about you until it’ s corrected in direct communication manner or them getting to personally know you. Do not be shocked to find out that this is how some may have viewed you, yes you that is reading this blog. Actually, the view of you before coming in and sitting down in your world, and having a personalized conversation with you or hanging out with you.

You Work Too Much For Someone Without Major Responsibilities

Honestly, if you get the chance to really ream out folk about this pre-judgy assumption, you chew them out good. Make sure there posture spiral to a downward slump to the ground. Follow-up with a witty version of yourself. This maybe the most inapt notion about a person who does not have kids or not married. Folk with this notion about someone is often measuring your responsibilities to theirs. There is always a portion of a persons life you cannot see. Give a person no quarter on this one. You deserve to verbally harness the power of the wind, and throw at them.

You’re The Product Of A Posh Family

Rather you are or you are not this notion, like the others, leads to not giving a person a fair shot at individualism. This may not be the case at all. You may simply be the product of a great family with modest means.

In the end, you are more than what someone thinks about you. Truth be told, you may be nothing like what folk think. If people have interest in you and are curious they will get to know you. On the whole, you will either prove them right, wrong, or almost close.

Living A Simple Adult Life At Any Adult Age

Posted on December 28, 2019 by Melinda Milhouse

It’s essential to streamline or simplify your life at any age. Hans Hofmann once wrote, “The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak”. I believe there should be a measure for determining when and how much to do so.

The approach should be one based on where you can get real measures that will lead to valuable results. For instance, a good approach is measuring your life and activities from the beginning to the end of a decade. See where you are and make necessary adjustments before you take on your next 10 years.

In my view, this stems from the fact that you are 10 years older at the end of a decade. This is important because if you set goals, then your life choices probably evolve to ensure you meet said goals. You only get one life and because of that quality of life should always be built in everything you do.

For one thing you might choose to make daily events easier, minimize unimportant odds and ends. Also, eliminate unnecessary tasks that you carry forward from year to year that offer zero value, but only act as time fillers.

Notably, simplistic activities doesn’t mean that you sacrifice on quality or fun. Moreover, it doesn’t suggest that you’re giving up on life. It means that you are clearing your path to get to the things that matter most. It helps you get to the stuff that’s valuable and key in your life.

Make Life Easy Without Eliminating Quality And Embrace Local Offerings

In your 20s and 30s, there is no doubt that you can tolerate more extras than you can in your 40s and 50s. For example, in your 20s you probably spend/spent the weekend travelling 50 miles just to shop, bar hop, attend concerts, or just ride out. If you live within an inner city, don’t discount local grocery stores or butcher shops. Likewise, local bars can be rewarding. Establish yourself as a local and get special treatment. In addition, in my view, specialty shops or stores are unique in their offering. They can offer quality items as well. Shopping local in your neighborhood offers support.

Additionally, there are some other ways to make life easy. If you are a person that have a ton of commitments just to stay involve or networking, you might try narrowing commitments down to the top three. Reduce the overload and unrecognizable stress by scoping in key important activities. Scope out conditions that are just fillers.

On the whole, quality is important as the years pass by. Grade A living is something to strive for. It’s not just what you buy. A degree of excellence means different things to different people. The ability to get from point A to D is about effectiveness and efficiency.

In reality, it should be with minimal difficulty or effort; this includes work, recreation, home living, social aptitude and a host of other life areas. Life is really simple, however you immerse add ins that make it convoluted. You must non-complicate the avenues of your life.

My Personal Goals Are At Odds With My Career Endeavors – Change Is Everything

Posted on August 16, 2019 by Melinda Milhouse

One nation can’t have two queens, no more than a castle can have two kings. At this point, one must wave the white flag. My personal goals and dreams are at odds with my career. If you ask how can this be? Let me tell you it is possible. Unquestionable, I figured I had both structurally aligned. Turns out, I’m suffering from the fact they have competing interest or I have competing interest since I’m the vessel. I’ve spent so much time on my career attributes. My personal goals are now tapping me on the shoulder and to request attention.

Admittedly, I’m at a point in my adult life where my personal intentions are now conflicting with my with career endeavors, which offer a steady paycheck that pays the bills. I knew this day would come. The day of not feeding key areas of my life, and putting them on hold for career gains. I’m confident in career, employment is easy, and the day of being qualified has arrived. Conversely, this has provided me the opportunity to focus on some of my personal dreams that I had to put on hold.

The Promise I Made To Myself

In the days of old, of kings, queens, castles, houses, swords man, and great halls men put on shows to impress. They played their roles because that is what decorum required. Similarly, it’s not much different today except of castles and swords man. After years of setting up my career to impress and solidify my work ethic skill and reputation amongst the greats, I’m ready to focus on personal goals and ambitions. I’ve played my role and paid my dues.

Indeed, I made a promise to myself a long time ago not to pour all my energy into my career and not develop some of the more personal talents. My more personal talents, could have been my initial career. Nonetheless, I do what I must to put the show on in the great hall of my career. All the same, I’m refuse to neglect my tier 2 passions. Tier 2? Yes, may career is first and my personal passions are second. It’s time to cultivate the second.

My Spirit Requires More Than A 9 to 5 To Thrive

My 9 to 5 pays the bills and establishes a base. At the same time, my spirit needs more creativity. I need a more creative outlet. Yes, my blog does that, but so does travel and new food. Certainly, if I cold combine writing, travel, and food, I would have my spirit place.

The plan is to figure out how my personal and career obligations can coexist. The idea is ensure balance is present so my spirit can glow. The approach to not let my time for personal development and practices be at the mercy of my career. It means managing my time. In addition, reducing time spent in areas less rewarding.

Defining And Designing My Life In My Mid 40s

What’s a girl to do with dreams and plans. The only thing for me to do is see my goals, dreams, and plans through. I adjust them and make sure I have a realistic approach. Allow enough productive time for my personal goals. I leverage my career to assist the personal and my personal to assist the career. In summary, the real goal or gift to me would be to make my personal favors, my career. For now, I’ll settle with finding balance between the two.

There is glory in having a flexible career and learning how to secure the career money bag. Equally, there is more glory in cultivating your personal aspirations after 40. A word of advice, do it before 40 if you can.

Your Journey Is Not Like Others And Their Journey Is Not Yours So Don’t Play Comparison Games

Posted on July 28, 2019 by Melinda Milhouse

We have different journeys in life, which will carry us places we never imagine. In addition, you may put in endless effort or work to ensure that parts of your journey to obtain a specific or expect outcome. Your life adventures will unfounded naturally through the people you meet and you will end up being total surprise. Additionally, you will see others on their path, making their strides and wonder why your path looks difference or why you haven’t reach the pinnacles or rewards they have. Their strides may yield fruit differently from your, at a different pace, and time.

The journey is to be respected and nourished, not always forced. It will not be ignored and will not let you insert someone else’s path into your life without a fight. Disrespect it and will give you bearish or ugly results. Stare over or down at your friends path or a family members good fortune and try to re-tune your journey to mimic theirs and it just might back fire.

You Are Design To Be You And Be Inspired By People Around You, Not Take What Is Theirs And Desperately Make It Yours

If you don’t cheer for you and don’t like you, then you may need to do some soul searching or just searching. You’re designed to come into your own, be inspired by others around you, but find yourself. Discover the type of foods you like and style of cloths. Delight in searching for music that you like or even love.

Friends are there to help you find yourself and support you through the process. Also, they are there to encourage you to love yourself and ascertain what’s at the core of yourself being. Don’t look at their lives and try and fit what works for them and their unique styles into yours. Simply be encouraged. Avoid being bitter or jealous of their lives, and focus on you. Cultivate your life garden. You are extraordinaire, so search for it.

It’s Okay If It Takes Time To Learn Who You Are As You Move Through This Life

There is no pressure on you, to trek down your perfections or preferences in certain or given time. Although, time is of the essence, but no pressure. The more you rummage around the world and stretch the boundaries of yourself, like a flower, you will unfold to new attractions. Moreover, you will blossom and discover things unimaginable that may delight you. You get to cut your path and be spontaneous in at your own pace. Be curious and safe, but don’t be afraid and let fear keep you from properly moving through life. Question you ambitions and desires, but don’t just give up on them because you think you are too old, but be reasonable with yourself.

If You Find Yourself In State Of Jealousy Because You Are Not Where Your Friends Are In Life, Then Find A Reliable Mentor To Help Sort Through Your Emotions

Mentors are undervalued. If You Find Yourself In State Of Jealousy Because You Are Not Where Your Friends Are In Life, Then Find A Reliable Mentor To Help Sort Through Your Emotions. Many people think that mentors and life coaches are something you have at work or while in school. You can have a mentor at any point in your life. Professional mentors or a close friend that you trust can be a trusted mentor, who can help you with your discovery process. You’re never too professional, wealth, or old to have a mentor. The way social media is set up today, mentors are everywhere.

Last, find the right one for you that will help you sort through your path and set realistic life goals.

I Refuse To Age Ungracefully, I’m Having Too Much Fun Serving As An Aging Lady

Posted on July 13, 2019 by Melinda Milhouse

I’m all for aging gracefully, but lately I feel as if my body is calibrating and preparing for 50. I’m still three years away from the midpoint of 100. However, as I live in my late 40s, I can’t help but wonder if my body’s change something I can get use to. I’m not sure if it’s accurate to say that a lot of women may not look forward to their late 40s and descending on toward 50, but I do. I don’t mind aging, I’m just trying to figure out how to deal and master the events that come with aging. Let’s just say, I intend to win or fight the good fight.

I’ve talk to the ladies in family, who have already conquered 40 and they make 50 simply marvelous. I’m learning a few important techniques to keep me striding along. I’ve had to detach from some old ways and rebel in the new.

Here is the current state of a lady in her 40s.

When I Say “I Don’t Care”, I Mean I’m In A Place Of Constant Meditation – Don’t Bother Me With The Insignificance Of Youthful Burdens

Aging allows me and you to release a lot of concerns about insignificant situations that seems trivial and monumental in our 30s. I care a lot less about opinions, events, and situations that truly have no immediate or more than a three year effect on me. I don’t care if a man doesn’t return my call or reach out to me , even after I’ve reached out to him first. If I “shoot my shot” with a man, and he’s not receptive, I move on and laugh. No regrets and no ill feelings shall follow me. I let relationships go without explanation or conversation, because I don’t care to explain. I proceed with the attitude of, “I did what I did” and ” I said what I said”. Normally, because the most basic explanation at my age is, “it no longer works for me or benefits me”. This response is usually unacceptable because folk like long winded words.

It becomes a task trying to convince people, who require detail. If I choose to be a vegan later in my life, I don’t have to explain that to anyone. If I want to switch back to meat after two years, I do it. It’s my aging adult prerogative. There are key people in my life, that sharing is reserved for at this point. My current attitude, won’t sit well with the people who once knew me as the adventurer of long explanation and using words to coax their feelings.

I Am Not The Person Most People Use To Know

When I was a child, it mattered to me what family thought. It mattered to me that I wasn’t the favored friend. As a teenager, I wanted to be the slender female, best friend, smartest, and most noticeable person around. I was reserve in expressing those wants, but I always worked toward achieving the necessary requirements to get me to those things. I’m light-skin and come from a family that has mixed roots. Mixed roots that are documented on the census. Folk always judge me by that light-skin and thought I was that uppity girl, but once that got to know me they realized I was cool. The truth is, I was concerned about how they saw me. I didn’t choose the color of my skin, but I choose my attitude, responses, and behavior, which are all used in making my character.

Now that I am older, after years of college educations, travel, meeting new people, more travel, driving my career…I’m not the same. I’m unrecognizable to most, they just to know it, cause the people of old, my earlier life, have not held a conversation with the 46 year old me. They see how I’ve grown and my difference by what they can gather from social media, but that’s nothing compared to sit down conversation with me.

I’ve Learned Not To Take Walking For Granted, It Makes All The Difference To Your Body

Aging with grace means finding exercise that gets the job done, without breaking your bones and twisting up your muscles. I have rediscovered my love for walking and counting steps. My best investment over the past year is my FitBit. It makes me consciously responsible and I am able to gauge some important wellness data with my FitBit. My brother gave it to me for my 2018 birthday. I love it! I keep it close. Probably more closely than I kept my mobile. Walking improves the resting heart rate and my arthritis, thanks me for the steps that I graciously count on a daily bases.

I never knew that I could be so excited about walking as form cardio and step counting. Low impact or walking is the safe cardio and fat burning method after at 40.

Splurge On The Best Moisturizers And I Cannot Stress Hydrating Enough

The one piece of my experience in my 40s that I find myself in a constant battle with is hydrating my skin, and finding a good moisture to sustain the hydration. I’ve always drink the proper intake of water. Maintaining beautiful skin is something that’s been at the top of my list way before now. Since enter my mid 40s, I’ve struggled with keeping my skin from dying out. I’ve increased my water intake, tried different skin moisture and hydration techniques. I’ve done research and had conversation with my primary care doctor. For a woman, skin hydration is a new battle in my mid 40s. It is also caused by the changes that’s going on in my body as I age and trek toward 50.

I don’t mind aging, but I refuse to struggle with aging. My investments in my wellness are important to me. I’ve talked mind, body, and soul on a few of my blog post. This is the critical trinity as you age. Learn what is available as you age and be ready, ladies, to invest in you. You will always be worth it.

Sometimes I Talk To Myself About Random Stuff, Today I’m Talking To You

Posted on June 1, 2019 by Melinda Milhouse

I’ll probably spend the rest of my life lifting quotes and fabulous lines from Game of Thrones. Just kidding! I must admit they have some interesting and thought provoking lines. Not every character, but a few individuals manage to have a writer that offered up clever words that entice. In essence or in the spirit of aging, if we live long enough we all will have experiences where we can quote clever lessons or information in a form that will make someone stop and take notice. I like to have conversations with people who can make their words dance. I’m saying they talk manipulation, but I know they have some experiences, adventures, and mistake made behind their words. Maybe a few to many shots of whiskey nights in their travels, nonetheless, I call them our own signature quotes.

I like stories and quotes born of endeavors, the kind that stretches life, and put a person on unfamiliar roads. Their words reflect valuable lessons , a vestige of triumph after the fall. The lessons we can truly appreciate. I’m not talking about the great authors whose book grace the big halls old library. I’m talking about the everyday wisdom of the aged and those who truly live. I include myself in those groups of folk.

Why is this important? Some of us travel and educate ourselves at a constant rhythm. We’ve had some monumental experiences where we can share lessons that may help others. This will not be for everyone, because sharing we you are is a risk. People don’t like feeling vulnerable. I’ll share, but it depends on the audience. Personal quotes are a way to teach small fruitful lessons. It’s a social tool to inspire or a gentle reminder to raise the spirit or beware. I love them. They are simple social verses, which can pack a punch. And, who doesn’t need circumstance punched, sometime.

The Things I Know Is Because I Truly Live My Life And Examine My Experiences

Last year, I posted a blog on my life changing event, where I went into cardiac arrest (dead) and brought back to life. I detail my thoughts and my surprise of awaking in the intensive care unit, after knowing I was dying and my brothers and doctor confirming that I had. It’s kind of what cardiac arrest means. This is an experience I think of often. I look at life and death differently.

It’s true when you hear people who experience what I experience say, “why me”? It is a nagging question. Then, when I saw the episode on Game of Thrones, where Jon Snow was brought back and what Ser Davos said to him, made sense to me. Jon said that he should not be here, well that was because of the violence of his death. But, that is not the words that guide me. It was when Jon said “what next”? And, Ser Davos said “You go on and try to make a difference”. I was like yes, my purpose is still alive and well. I have have to dip my big toe into the pool. In fact, I’ll deep an entire foot, this time.

Here is what I know, giving up is an option if you are so broken that you can’t do anything, and if you lose hope. I say it is an option, because giving up is what will happen if you don’t find hope, find a silver lining / lesson in your experience, and find a means to climb out that deep pit. It’s true that you cannot give up. It’s true that you must be dedicated to your mental health, well-being, self-climb, and outcome.

What should you do? Put effort into your life every single day, no matter how small the event, it adds value. Walk the path of your life, and don’t look back. You will be tired, feel sorry, and even have doubt…but you can’t let life fold you permanently.

I Pray For Wisdom And Believe That I Will Receive It

Photo – Pixabay: If wisdom was a photo, in my world, this is what it would look like.

I don’t get religious or spiritual on my post, but it does not mean that I’m not either of the two. I know how to echo the attributes of both in my blog, without falling into the “holy roller” stereotype. Surprise! I’m giggling as I write this because I can rock with you and still not give up where my loyalties rest. I like empathy. I like it because empathy refers to the “ability to understand and connect with others’ feelings. It does not mean sympathizing or adopting the same feelings, and it is not based on a memory of having experienced the same emotions”.

Pray for wisdom because it’s one of the greatest, rarely understood, over asked for, but rarely used gifts acquired, year after year. It’s necessary. I feel less stress as I pray for it. More importantly, when I feel myself gaining from experience after experience I learn the value of time and energy. Therefore, I make decisions more wisely by understanding the value of time and energy. I hope it’s wisdom that I’m gaining.

I’m Not Afraid To Quote Myself, You Shouldn’t Be Either

I’m not afraid to quote myself, Tyrion Lannister did it. In fact, we should be more confident in our knowledge. I like to feel confident in what I know. Not arrogant, but confident. Yes, we must build up our library of our own quotes. I can tell fake shit, cause I Google and research a lot of shit. So, if I see humans trying to pass off someone else’s clever words as theirs, I’ll make your days long. I’m done taking on everyone else’s style, I’m going to create my own.

What you should try? I would like to encourage or suggest that you should create something that’s echos your signature wisdom or style you’ve acquired through life experience. You might find that you have a lot to say and show.

You Should Not Let People’s Opinions Get You Into A Tizzy

Posted on May 10, 2019 by Melinda Milhouse

The world is not going to hold its breath because you don’t like the sound of breathing. The world is not always hating on you or hating on your lifestyle because you cannot wrap your head around simple concepts. You’re going to face opinions that rival your lifestyle and choices, it’s not personal, it’s an opinion. You want to talk about the rights of freedom of speech, but can’t stomach when people start to speak. If your defense mechanism soars high amid simple conversation, you might try looking in the mirror and honestly asking yourself, why does this offend you. Ask, what got so far under your skin that you verbally retaliated in an anger manner. If opinions send you off the rails, you might be headed or troubled waters. And, more than likely, you have opinions too!

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Count yourself lucky if you have never offended anyone. Continue on in this world and you will. The experience will surprise both you and them. You would be wise to know what drives your emotion, because if someone else does, if they want to control your emotions and you…they will! Don’t just give people the opportunity to easily sway you. Work on what makes you vulnerable, and strengthen those weak areas. It will be a process, but you’re worth it.

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People will try and force you to apologize, or make you feel low for your statements. They’ll try to justify there defensiveness as who they are at the respective point in time. We’ve seen the millennial use the fact that they are millennial justify a choice or attitude toward opinions. If you use a subgroup within the culture to stand on so support your self protective posture, then you are not taking responsibility. Expect to be easily offended more often.

If you decide to be comfortable or accepting with your behavior, label, or sub-group, then its a small win. You will also find some value in understanding that people have a right to have an opinion. It may not be rooted in anything valid. You have to learn to ignore and walk pass insignificant words, sometime.