You show up when they need you most—you check-in when friends don’t need you at all. Importantly, you are the first to notice when your friends or best friend is in distress. Often, you’re the first to know when things don’t seem right with your bloke. Also, you know exactly what to bring to cheer up your best friend. You are simply one hello good friend and don’t you forget it.
“Friendship … is born at the moment when one man says to another “What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . .” ― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves
Honestly, you don’t try that hard. Being a good friend comes naturally. Moreover, you know what to say to sway the mood when there is hurt and grief in the friendship. The cure, the healing is all you. There is no denying your role. You know how to watch, and you know how to listen, and offer the best advice.
You Show Up And Show Out In Support Of Your Friends
There is no denying the devoted homie you are. You show up and stand by your friends through their insane commitments. If they need a plus one for happy hour, you come in kicking doors down. Rather it’s a skydiving date or a graduation ceremony to celebrate you bring the good times – the memorable moments. Also, you don’t hesitate to stand firm in the company of your friends. You’re the first to check their ass when they least expect it.
Their success is yours, and their injury or sickness is yours to heal.
Additionally, you compliment rare things unnoticeable by others. You love your friend’s handbag collection or cigar collection and won’t hesitate to take some for yourself.
Elbert Hubbard once wrote, “A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.” The accommodating homeboy or home girl will toast you into eternity. Your cheers are one for the ages in celebration of anything that brings you’ll together. You know where to get the wine, ice cream, and the smokes and make it a date. Furthermore, you know when your homies are dating the jerk and when they’re the jerk. No glass of wine is too full for a conversation amongst friends.
The pretentious girl, in this social world, making demands with your opulent skills. If you are a pretentious lady, woman or girl know that some men and women will not understand you. Others will find you intimidating or formidable. Intimidating or difficult is not your end game or general purpose. It may not be your approach. Because others may not or will not understand you, it doesn’t mean you’re “too much”. In perspective, women for the most part tend to reconcile with other women. If your not demanding, surely there is a part of you longing to be towering. There is nothing wrong with operating a pretentious posture through a well mannered approach.
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There Is Nothing Wrong With Making Demands
Ladies, being demanding is not the same as being fussy. Just don’t be fussy and think you are being demanding. It is okay to want respect and to remind the masses of your importance to a mission or situation. It is even okay to express your stature. Nobody should be better at selling who you are than you.
Don’t Compromise Your Value
Pretentious lady, continue to value yourself and ensure other respect your value. If you believe the people you surround yourself with on daily bases will truly understand your posture of being demanding think again. Every now and again you have to remind them who you are, so always know your value.
Your Pretentious Dopeness Will Catch Side Eyes
This dopeness is the urban dictionary meaning and not the Webster meaning. It is your outward display of qualities, self attributes and capacity that best describe you. You will have a class of women who think you are a little to brash. You know the saying ladies, you should be seen and not heard. There will be times when you need to be heard and your style and qualities won’t fit inside of traditional archetypes as a means of carrying out the message. Allow your skill, abilities and dopeness to lead the way. The side eyes will get over it.
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Be Pretentiously Gracious
In your pretentious posture avoid being grumpy or grouchy. Embrace a gracious stance. Avoid appearing disgruntled or being labeled as snippy or short-tempered. You know what word comes to mind if you are appear cranky. Gracious and pretentious can exist in the same space ladies. It adds ease to the high and mighty attitude that maybe projected. The act of being cavalier as a woman is still unbelievable to some women, so operate in your graciousness.
It is important that attitude is not the message that is projected when a pretentious woman decides to speak or act. The message should be a reminder of who you are, your value, skill, standout abilities and requirements. Allow your hallmark self to flourish.
Don’t let anyone threaten your movement or passion. Don’t let them convince you, that they can solely impact the outcome of situations in your life. No one should have that much power and that kind of position in your life. You must protect you, from folk who believe themselves to be some type influencer in your life, when you haven’t given them the position.
If you’re lucky not to have experienced this type of person, be warned, you will one day. The fake influencer is closer than you think. Normally, the term is reserve for a social media marketing strategy to obtain more following. But today, it is used to describe a type of person who believe or at least thinks what they say can influence an outcome in areas of your life.
This type of person sub-consciously believes they are an important person in some compartment in your life. Compartments or slices of your life such as a daily activity, career, personal life or general contact. It’s what they say or try to convince you and others of that makes them seem altogether annoying, to a person who knows them-self or a person who knows the true inputs of their life.
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Surviving The Fake Influencer
Is there a secret to surviving the fake influencer? How do you maintain cool around such a person? Do you go on the attack and verbally crush said person when they show you who they are? These are questions ponder by those who have encountered or find themselves in the company of a certain “type cast”. The secret to surviving is to decide if you want to survive them. If you want to survive them, then accept no matter what you know or like about them, when the fake influencer starts to boast and brag about who he or she has some type of persuasive dominion over, be ready laugh. If you cannot laugh, you will get annoyed and you will need to find a fast exit out of the conversation. Sometimes these people can be friends, family or a respected colleague. No matter what the relationship type, if you want to keep the peace then walk away. Or, say, “I’m not trying to hear, what you saying”.
If the individual is a coworker definitely do not entertain the conversation. Refrain from entertaining it especially if you are in the company of other colleagues. Some colleagues with upper positions think they have a wand to wave and can make magic happen. It’s no wand…just words. So when they start to boast on having an impact on someone’s promotion or movement in the company, walk-a-way.
Another approach, you could use if you are close to the person is to pull them to the side and bring their ugly posture to their attention. It’s a chance they don’t realize how obtuse they are behaving. A little mental shake via conversation might make them lose their mind and come to their senses. Nobody gets a pass on being fake or fake and loud.
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Maintaining Your Cool
Maintaining your cool depends on how reactive or on defense you become. If keeping your composure is important, learn to laugh off comments meant to get a reaction. Don’t ruin your integrity by responding to someone’s group setting agenda. The moment will pass soon enough. If that doesn’t work then take over the conversation by changing the narrative or topic…”so how about that game last night”.
Go Forth And Verbally Attack
If you are feeling yourself and you are up to the good ole challenge, verbally snatch their psyche. It will cut through the cordial chase and probably shock the dickens out of the person. No need to try if you are not in the trying mood. As long as you can handle what’s next, then do you. Be forever crafty with your words. Make sure they will never try you again. Put fear in them…kill a demon today, face the devil tomorrow.
Forget About It
You could let the entire person’s character (Fake Influencer) roll completely off your back. If it is a family member or friend, simply ignore the person. Teach others how to ignore them during their moment of “delusions of grandeur”. Trust and believe, they are NOT the final say on if you go to heaven or hell. And, the coworker is NOT the final say on rather you get your dream project or raise.
You have to learn to influence the narrative about yourself, therefore take the power away from said person. People will watch how you react. Some will rally in your favor, for whatever response you choose.
