Be fearless about the love you have for yourself and inspire that love. Protect it from social pressures that come to deceive it. Fearless is different things to different people. Loving yourself, well that also means something different to each of us. Lucille Ball once said, ” “Love yourself first and everything else falls into line.” You must be daring when it comes to matters of self. Indeed, protect your sacred space rather physical, mental, or environmental. Equally, receive the respect you deserve and not let anyone manipulate those spaces.
Learn to love yourself without any boundaries and be candid in that love.Jerry Corsten said, “Loving yourself starts with liking yourself, which starts with respecting yourself, which starts with thinking of yourself in positive ways.”
Know Yourself Enough To Be Aware Of Unexpected Merciless Influences
Loving yourself goes together with knowing yourself. Notably, there are movements and messages of empowerment flowing from multiple direction encouraging you to love you. Equally, there are subliminal messages that may make you feel less than a person in your current existence. Moreover, these activities suggest you should look like this or look like that physically. And, if you do not fit the current mainstream standard, you might see yourself as a mess. You might feel like you do not fit. Truth be told, many of times the current social standards are brutal and hasty.
With an abundance of social activities in your face, the challenge is finding forthright, but smart passion of how you should love and know you. You should never let social media marketing fully persuade your self-discovery. Furthermore, do not let it determine how much you should or should not love and appreciate yourself. Consequently, if you do, your approach to mental, physical, and spiritual style will fluctuate with the latest trends.
On Purpose Selection Is Better Than Unbeknownst Manipulation
In reality, you will more likely gravitated to things if others do the same. For example, you might think that if the masses do it, then it must be proper. For this reason, you should open your eyes and be aware that some social corners market fear of not fitting in. Avoid the manipulation by truly understanding what is pertinent to your existing self. Ask yourself:
What do you like, what makes you happy?
How does this improve you in the short run and long run?
Will this cost me more than I am willing to pay?
What will I lose and am I okay with taking the lost?
While, there is nothing wrong with improving yourself, make sure you do it for the right reasons. Significantly, you want to be able to build on any layer you lay on the foundation of oneself. In other words, make it an on purpose selection and a conscious selection. What this means is, the more you love you, the more you know and understand who you are. You will know how to add value to your physical, mental, and spiritual self without social pressures being the dominant factor.
Seek the appropriate influence. You will recognize it when you see it, when you authentically love and know your diverse self.
As a result of loving yourself, this in no form means you should be irresponsible in your acts and attitudes. It means understanding that if you take loving yourself to a point where it is disruptive, disrespectful, and public demeaning your execution requires guidance. There must be a delicate balance between loving yourself while on the journey of self-discovery.
In closing, C.G. Jung once wrote, “until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
Listen, the hardcore phase of the holiday season is here. To clarify, Thanksgiving is a wrap! Obviously, if you celebrated, you just participated in the last Thanksgiving of this decade. You made it through! Be grateful. It’s another Black Friday. Love it or hate it, if you managed your money right throughout the year, today can be rewarding. It must be said, there is so much more goods and services on sale than televisions.
Real quick, the holidays are sentimental, exciting, joyous, or depressing depending on the person or family member. There are events that only occur this time of the year that you can’t get any other time. The arts never disappoint and will regale you with plays that are only available, you guess it, now! You should appreciate a community theater or ballet that works diligently to pull off the Nutcracker, Grinch, or A Christmas Carol. These are the classics and they are in season.
Demystifying The Holiday Season
Truth be told, the title of this section is pushing sarcasm. Unquestionably, a lot folk use this time of the year to relax. Indeed, if you are one of those people, then enjoy the fireside, quiet, and your favorite beverage. Clearly, it’s been a long year. Additionally, the new year is on the way. Don’t let the morose mood sneak up on you and swallow you whole, especially if you spend this time of year alone.
You have to do things on purpose this time of year to repel the sullen and gloomy disposition. Food pantries and kitchen welcome volunteer services. Buy toys and give them out at a children’s hospital in your area. Do your research. No excuses. You, a good friend or family member are responsible to pull yourself out of your funky disposition.
It should be noted, this is a visual, audible, and olfactory time of the year. What this means is Christmas time is in your face and ears. You can smell Christmas in the air and taste it in your mouth on your tongue. Attitude is everything and it can drive you where you want to go and don’t. Moreover, you want to stay clear of being deemed the proverbial Grinch.
In short, you have to find balance during this season. Don’t let it consume you and deplete any of your joy.
As we embark on the turn of a new decade I’d like to take a gaze over the past 10 years and share some highlights of my life. Truth be told, I look back in astonishment and gratefulness. It’s not because everything was perfect and went according to plan, mainly because I learned how to navigate the ebbs and flows of my life. Above all, I’m hopeful of what will follow and what I’m okay with leaving behind.
It’s not always easy to share experiences because you are subject to judgement. Furthermore, you risk exposing yourself to folk with staunch opinions. Without a doubt the idea is too approach the person sharing their opinion with an open mind. In essences, this more about events that have happened and how it shaped or reshaped me.
I’m sure 2009 to 2019 had an impact on you too. This sounds like a cliché but I had the best and worst of times. I was able to soar higher than the decade before. Also, I had some landing moments that were not smooth. A bump ride here and there. I mean I did go into cardiac arrest in January 2018. It wasn’t part of my plans or goals, it happened and I lived.
I’m me and this is but a snippet of my decade story.
The Dawn Of The New Decade Began With 2009
In case you forgot, January 2009 was the inauguration of Obama’s first term in office. Four months later I would call northern Virginia home and Washington DC would be my new stomping ground. I vividly remember the start of the age, it was one of the coldest winters I have experienced to that date, only because I spent time with my brother in Alexandria VA. I would drive up from South Carolina and stay with him, well, because I was enacting some of my plans to conquer my goals. Achievement demands attention, activities, effort, and networking!
My networking and interviewing final materialized a grand result! In the spring of 2009, I had a major career change. It was a necessary upgrade. At age 36, I made a change in my career and life that would afford me the opportunity to achieve a few dreams. Folk, it worked out. Yes, in my mid 30s, I made a huge change which included uprooting my life.
My career was something that I began working seriously at the age of 26. When I use the word seriously, it means that I started planning a switch or major overhaul way before the 2009-2019 decade. The decade prior 2009, I was obtaining degrees and working as a cost accountant. In essence, I was acquiring the experience, skill, and knowledge to take a prepared leap of faith the following decade.
Spring Sprung On Me In 2009
Enter Spring 2009, after a winter of interviews around Washington DC and Alexandria Virginia, I landed a job that would drove the next phase of my career. At the age of 36, I left private business in healthcare insurance services and moved to Alexandria VA to purse my career as an auditor.
Luckily, I did not have any kids and I wasn’t married. My transition was a direct impact to me. However, it meant moving out the same state as my parents and at the time, the majority of my siblings were in South Carolina. I was building on my accounting career and leaving behind relationships I’d established, but the path to accomplishment required that I stay true and dedicated to my goals.
Staying True And Dedicated To My Goals
Listen, I was entering a world where I was leaving behind the private sector. I was giving up my own workstation to enter a world of traveling, extremes deadlines, and a field that is dominated by those who are fresh out of college. I entered my new job as a professional, but still I was amongst those who had only been out off college for 1-2 years. You should know that accomplishing my goals were worth the environment immersion that was about to experience.
Interesting enough, I had two bothers that were in the Northern VA and Washington DC area at the time. One had just made the transition only a couple of months before me. Both still reside there today, as do I.
The transition as far as living was doable. It was the least of my concern. My other bother had moved to the area at least 3 or 4 years earlier and it was home for him. Me entering a new living situation was eased because of him.
The entry into a new work style, yet still applying my current discipline and experience, was more of the challenge. Adapting to firm work and administrative task was the new objective. My approach was simple, be the hardest working person in the room and use what I know; what I don’t know, do research and adapt quickly. It helped and it worked. I made new friends and expand my colleague pool. It required staying involved in a lot of after work events and even hanging out on the week.
The first three years were busy and I established my reputation and name. I was challenged by folk and even bumped heads and people are pretty much people! Nothing new there!
Navigating Through A Robust Decade
As the world turns and it turned during 2010-2016. I enjoyed the transubstantiate of my skills. In addition, I was first diagnosed with degenerative arthritis, in my back and hip and the fact that I still had my mobility and spent at least three days at the gym.
I spent 2010 through 2016 indulging in as much travel as possible. In 2010, me and my best friend spent about 18 days in Europe after a long audit season. You have to understand, I’m a southern lady from a small town South Carolina. Never in a million years did I think I would be traveling through Europe at all, let alone for 18 day. The journey took us through Paris, Manheim, Prague, Zurich, Milan, Venice, and Roma.
This travel would be the highlight of the decade for me. I knew one thing about myself, when I first experience domestic travel, I wanted more than anything, to be recognized as a traveler. To this day, that has not changed. I spent time in cities aboard and at home, in the states. So much too see, and I had the schedule and funds to do it. My career move quickly increase my financial situation and was acquiring new marketable skills much faster working in the District versus in South Carolina.
In 2015, I left the initial firm I entered into in 2009 and landed at a Big 4. The Big 4 sector I worked in became it’s own company in 2018 and I’m still with them as this decade concludes.
The Mini Perils Of Life Showed Themselves
In 2016, I found myself having to have a second back surgey. My first took place when I was 29. This one was simple, it was to remove a cist off my L2. I had great insurance so I made it through this event. Plus I had my bother around. My back would become my mini project because I was aging. Arthritis was upon me and I had to heat and I’ve more. I endured stiffness when I awake and became concerned about my range of motion. Not to mention my weight started to increase. I fell in and out of trying to find solutions and well work was getting more demanding.
I went from auditing to consulting! This was a much more involved area and I spent more hours working. I was also pursuing certificates and taking classes to keep my skills marketable and on the cutting edge. I was hitting the gym in spurts at this point.
Wrapping Up Another Decade Known As The Home Stretch
I’m easing myself back into travel, but understands that after the PE and DVT I must proceed with certain regiments prior to travel.
I’m 10 years older at the end of this decade. Particularly, I was a smidgen over my mid 30s at the beginning and at the expiration, a bit over mid 40s. Longevity and conquering arthritis are my top priority. Career growth and sustainment and easier for me. I’ve learned a few things and have an approach to my path.
Family is tantamount and vacationing essential. Finding a daily workout routine that fits me is a goal. I have a few considerations and I hope they work.
My Hope For The Next 10 Year Epoch
My hope is to age gracefully. Importantly, understand what my late 40s and early 50s will bring. Unquestionably, plan for the next phase of my career because, I’m not getting younger. The most important goal is to ensure that I’m living in a city where I want to retire. Additionally, deciding and mapping out a doctorate or PHD program is part of the coming era.
I’m interesting in revitalizing my dating life. I’m a progressive yet a traditional southern lady with refine attributes. It should be noted that I’m not interesting pettifoggers. I love thinkers and those able to engage an intellectual conversation yet able to laugh and bring comedy. Whatever the next age introduces, I want to be more mature and wise as I approach events. My family is my centerpiece. I want to continue to spend as much time with them as possible.
Ultimately, a balance life is what I’m working toward and a daily exercise regiment that includes getting steps and some type of weight. Weight loss is my new plan. Yes, I know all the information that says it more difficult as you age. Diet is everything. I’ll leave you with this, when you figure out your career that path will be easy if you layout the approach and repeat the steps to growth when necessary. Lastly, health is wealth!
Listen, some people are going to walk out your life or leave you. However, you cannot fall apart every time this happens. You cannot take it personally. First thing to remember is that being human is no easy task. Your existence is constantly being challenge. The fortitude of your mental stability maybe delicate.
When someone walks away, you’ll always question your role in the situation. If you’re aware of events and able to take responsibility of anything you did, then life will be fine. If you’re strong enough, you’ll even forgive yourself, and offer an apology. At the same time, if you take too much responsibility you’ll spend your time blaming yourself. When a person leaves, and it has nothing to do with your actions, you might not be as accepting of that as you think. Some people just leave because some things end.
Accept That Some People Just Leave And Some things Come To An End
Look, the universe operates, and life happens. You’ve probably heard the saying, “all things come to an end”. The truth is, some things just come to an end. The life cycle of relationships is not always long lasting. Friendships sometimes become a distance relationship. It feels like they have ended, but in the spirit of friends, we move forward.
Endings won’t always provide you with a good closure. They won’t be the smooth cognitive transition that we long for as humans. Not all endings will provide the physical transition. The “one last time” connection you desire, cancel it. In most cases, you will be left more confuse. In spite of the emotion and physical satisfaction you need, going with logic may be you best way.
You Should Maintain A Healthy Balance Between Head And Heart
Some men are good at interjecting logic or critical thinking in any type of relationship. Women tend to be more emotional and operate from the heart. It is in your best interest to have balance between your emotions and logic. Man or woman, balance between emotion and reason is important.
You must not sway too much in either direction. For example, if you project to much logic, you might not be in touch with your feel. Hence, you should have firm grasp on how you feel, when everything is all said and done. Likewise, too much emotion may cause you to not consider logical point. Points where when people leave, it’s totally independent of anything having to do with you.
This Goes For All Types Of Relationships
Look, friends as well as lovers may walkout. This not just about relationships where folk are into imitate love consummated with sex. This is about any type of relationship. People will come and go, and some will stay. Whatever the connection, it makes the time memorable. When you look back of the course of your life, you will realize you had different types of relationship. Learn to handle the exits with grace.
One nation can’t have two queens, no more than a castle can have two kings. At this point, one must wave the white flag. My personal goals and dreams are at odds with my career. If you ask how can this be? Let me tell you it is possible. Unquestionable, I figured I had both structurally aligned. Turns out, I’m suffering from the fact they have competing interest or I have competing interest since I’m the vessel. I’ve spent so much time on my career attributes. My personal goals are now tapping me on the shoulder and to request attention.
Admittedly, I’m at a point in my adult life where my personal intentions are now conflicting with my with career endeavors, which offer a steady paycheck that pays the bills. I knew this day would come. The day of not feeding key areas of my life, and putting them on hold for career gains. I’m confident in career, employment is easy, and the day of being qualified has arrived. Conversely, this has provided me the opportunity to focus on some of my personal dreams that I had to put on hold.
The Promise I Made To Myself
In the days of old, of kings, queens, castles, houses, swords man, and great halls men put on shows to impress. They played their roles because that is what decorum required. Similarly, it’s not much different today except of castles and swords man. After years of setting up my career to impress and solidify my work ethic skill and reputation amongst the greats, I’m ready to focus on personal goals and ambitions. I’ve played my role and paid my dues.
Indeed, I made a promise to myself a long time ago not to pour all my energy into my career and not develop some of the more personal talents. My more personal talents, could have been my initial career. Nonetheless, I do what I must to put the show on in the great hall of my career. All the same, I’m refuse to neglect my tier 2 passions. Tier 2? Yes, may career is first and my personal passions are second. It’s time to cultivate the second.
My Spirit Requires More Than A 9 to 5 To Thrive
My 9 to 5 pays the bills and establishes a base. At the same time, my spirit needs more creativity. I need a more creative outlet. Yes, my blog does that, but so does travel and new food. Certainly, if I cold combine writing, travel, and food, I would have my spirit place.
The plan is to figure out how my personal and career obligations can coexist. The idea is ensure balance is present so my spirit can glow. The approach to not let my time for personal development and practices be at the mercy of my career. It means managing my time. In addition, reducing time spent in areas less rewarding.
Defining And Designing My Life In My Mid 40s
What’s a girl to do with dreams and plans. The only thing for me to do is see my goals, dreams, and plans through. I adjust them and make sure I have a realistic approach. Allow enough productive time for my personal goals. I leverage my career to assist the personal and my personal to assist the career. In summary, the real goal or gift to me would be to make my personal favors, my career. For now, I’ll settle with finding balance between the two.
There is glory in having a flexible career and learning how to secure the career money bag. Equally, there is more glory in cultivating your personal aspirations after 40. A word of advice, do it before 40 if you can.
Endurance is created during you times of struggle and need. You must fight to avoid the fall and even if you fall you must get up, try again, and keep going until you stick the landing. Victory is the result of falls and struggles that have been mastered. It is the results of lessons learned and improvements made. These are just some of the activities for those on the road to being legends. Now, go to your destiny.
I’m all for aging gracefully, but lately I feel as if my body is calibrating and preparing for 50. I’m still three years away from the midpoint of 100. However, as I live in my late 40s, I can’t help but wonder if my body’s change something I can get use to. I’m not sure if it’s accurate to say that a lot of women may not look forward to their late 40s and descending on toward 50, but I do. I don’t mind aging, I’m just trying to figure out how to deal and master the events that come with aging. Let’s just say, I intend to win or fight the good fight.
I’ve talk to the ladies in family, who have already conquered 40 and they make 50 simply marvelous. I’m learning a few important techniques to keep me striding along. I’ve had to detach from some old ways and rebel in the new.
Here is the current state of a lady in her 40s.
When I Say “I Don’t Care”, I Mean I’m In A Place Of Constant Meditation – Don’t Bother Me With The Insignificance Of Youthful Burdens
Aging allows me and you to release a lot of concerns about insignificant situations that seems trivial and monumental in our 30s. I care a lot less about opinions, events, and situations that truly have no immediate or more than a three year effect on me. I don’t care if a man doesn’t return my call or reach out to me , even after I’ve reached out to him first. If I “shoot my shot” with a man, and he’s not receptive, I move on and laugh. No regrets and no ill feelings shall follow me. I let relationships go without explanation or conversation, because I don’t care to explain. I proceed with the attitude of, “I did what I did” and ” I said what I said”. Normally, because the most basic explanation at my age is, “it no longer works for me or benefits me”. This response is usually unacceptable because folk like long winded words.
It becomes a task trying to convince people, who require detail. If I choose to be a vegan later in my life, I don’t have to explain that to anyone. If I want to switch back to meat after two years, I do it. It’s my aging adult prerogative. There are key people in my life, that sharing is reserved for at this point. My current attitude, won’t sit well with the people who once knew me as the adventurer of long explanation and using words to coax their feelings.
I Am Not The Person Most People Use To Know
When I was a child, it mattered to me what family thought. It mattered to me that I wasn’t the favored friend. As a teenager, I wanted to be the slender female, best friend, smartest, and most noticeable person around. I was reserve in expressing those wants, but I always worked toward achieving the necessary requirements to get me to those things. I’m light-skin and come from a family that has mixed roots. Mixed roots that are documented on the census. Folk always judge me by that light-skin and thought I was that uppity girl, but once that got to know me they realized I was cool. The truth is, I was concerned about how they saw me. I didn’t choose the color of my skin, but I choose my attitude, responses, and behavior, which are all used in making my character.
Now that I am older, after years of college educations, travel, meeting new people, more travel, driving my career…I’m not the same. I’m unrecognizable to most, they just to know it, cause the people of old, my earlier life, have not held a conversation with the 46 year old me. They see how I’ve grown and my difference by what they can gather from social media, but that’s nothing compared to sit down conversation with me.
I’ve Learned Not To Take Walking For Granted, It Makes All The Difference To Your Body
Aging with grace means finding exercise that gets the job done, without breaking your bones and twisting up your muscles. I have rediscovered my love for walking and counting steps. My best investment over the past year is my FitBit. It makes me consciously responsible and I am able to gauge some important wellness data with my FitBit. My brother gave it to me for my 2018 birthday. I love it! I keep it close. Probably more closely than I kept my mobile. Walking improves the resting heart rate and my arthritis, thanks me for the steps that I graciously count on a daily bases.
I never knew that I could be so excited about walking as form cardio and step counting. Low impact or walking is the safe cardio and fat burning method after at 40.
Splurge On The Best Moisturizers And I Cannot Stress Hydrating Enough
The one piece of my experience in my 40s that I find myself in a constant battle with is hydrating my skin, and finding a good moisture to sustain the hydration. I’ve always drink the proper intake of water. Maintaining beautiful skin is something that’s been at the top of my list way before now. Since enter my mid 40s, I’ve struggled with keeping my skin from dying out. I’ve increased my water intake, tried different skin moisture and hydration techniques. I’ve done research and had conversation with my primary care doctor. For a woman, skin hydration is a new battle in my mid 40s. It is also caused by the changes that’s going on in my body as I age and trek toward 50.
I don’t mind aging, but I refuse to struggle with aging. My investments in my wellness are important to me. I’ve talked mind, body, and soul on a few of my blog post. This is the critical trinity as you age. Learn what is available as you age and be ready, ladies, to invest in you. You will always be worth it.
I’ll probably spend the rest of my life lifting quotes and fabulous lines from Game of Thrones. Just kidding! I must admit they have some interesting and thought provoking lines. Not every character, but a few individuals manage to have a writer that offered up clever words that entice. In essence or in the spirit of aging, if we live long enough we all will have experiences where we can quote clever lessons or information in a form that will make someone stop and take notice. I like to have conversations with people who can make their words dance. I’m saying they talk manipulation, but I know they have some experiences, adventures, and mistake made behind their words. Maybe a few to many shots of whiskey nights in their travels, nonetheless, I call them our own signature quotes.
I like stories and quotes born of endeavors, the kind that stretches life, and put a person on unfamiliar roads. Their words reflect valuable lessons , a vestige of triumph after the fall. The lessons we can truly appreciate. I’m not talking about the great authors whose book grace the big halls old library. I’m talking about the everyday wisdom of the aged and those who truly live. I include myself in those groups of folk.
Why is this important? Some of us travel and educate ourselves at a constant rhythm. We’ve had some monumental experiences where we can share lessons that may help others. This will not be for everyone, because sharing we you are is a risk. People don’t like feeling vulnerable. I’ll share, but it depends on the audience. Personal quotes are a way to teach small fruitful lessons. It’s a social tool to inspire or a gentle reminder to raise the spirit or beware. I love them. They are simple social verses, which can pack a punch. And, who doesn’t need circumstance punched, sometime.
The Things I Know Is Because I Truly Live My Life And Examine My Experiences
Last year, I posted a blog on my life changing event, where I went into cardiac arrest (dead) and brought back to life. I detail my thoughts and my surprise of awaking in the intensive care unit, after knowing I was dying and my brothers and doctor confirming that I had. It’s kind of what cardiac arrest means. This is an experience I think of often. I look at life and death differently.
It’s true when you hear people who experience what I experience say, “why me”? It is a nagging question. Then, when I saw the episode on Game of Thrones, where Jon Snow was brought back and what Ser Davos said to him, made sense to me. Jon said that he should not be here, well that was because of the violence of his death. But, that is not the words that guide me. It was when Jon said “what next”? And, Ser Davos said “You go on and try to make a difference”. I was like yes, my purpose is still alive and well. I have have to dip my big toe into the pool. In fact, I’ll deep an entire foot, this time.
Here is what I know, giving up is an option if you are so broken that you can’t do anything, and if you lose hope. I say it is an option, because giving up is what will happen if you don’t find hope, find a silver lining / lesson in your experience, and find a means to climb out that deep pit. It’s true that you cannot give up. It’s true that you must be dedicated to your mental health, well-being, self-climb, and outcome.
What should you do? Put effort into your life every single day, no matter how small the event, it adds value. Walk the path of your life, and don’t look back. You will be tired, feel sorry, and even have doubt…but you can’t let life fold you permanently.
I Pray For Wisdom And Believe That I Will Receive It
I don’t get religious or spiritual on my post, but it does not mean that I’m not either of the two. I know how to echo the attributes of both in my blog, without falling into the “holy roller” stereotype. Surprise! I’m giggling as I write this because I can rock with you and still not give up where my loyalties rest. I like empathy. I like it because empathy refers to the “ability to understand and connect with others’ feelings. It does not mean sympathizing or adopting the same feelings, and it is not based on a memory of having experienced the same emotions”.
Pray for wisdom because it’s one of the greatest, rarely understood, over asked for, but rarely used gifts acquired, year after year. It’s necessary. I feel less stress as I pray for it. More importantly, when I feel myself gaining from experience after experience I learn the value of time and energy. Therefore, I make decisions more wisely by understanding the value of time and energy. I hope it’s wisdom that I’m gaining.
I’m Not Afraid To Quote Myself, You Shouldn’t Be Either
I’m not afraid to quote myself, Tyrion Lannister did it. In fact, we should be more confident in our knowledge. I like to feel confident in what I know. Not arrogant, but confident. Yes, we must build up our library of our own quotes. I can tell fake shit, cause I Google and research a lot of shit. So, if I see humans trying to pass off someone else’s clever words as theirs, I’ll make your days long. I’m done taking on everyone else’s style, I’m going to create my own.
What you should try? I would like to encourage or suggest that you should create something that’s echos your signature wisdom or style you’ve acquired through life experience. You might find that you have a lot to say and show.