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You’re Simply One Hella Good Friend

You show up when they need you most—you check-in when friends don’t need you at all. Importantly, you are the first to notice when your friends or best friend is in distress. Often, you’re the first to know when things don’t seem right with your bloke. Also, you know exactly what to bring to cheer up your best friend. You are simply one hello good friend and don’t you forget it.

“Friendship … is born at the moment when one man says to another “What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . .” ― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

Honestly, you don’t try that hard. Being a good friend comes naturally. Moreover, you know what to say to sway the mood when there is hurt and grief in the friendship. The cure, the healing is all you. There is no denying your role. You know how to watch, and you know how to listen, and offer the best advice.

You Show Up And Show Out In Support Of Your Friends

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There is no denying the devoted homie you are. You show up and stand by your friends through their insane commitments. If they need a plus one for happy hour, you come in kicking doors down. Rather it’s a skydiving date or a graduation ceremony to celebrate you bring the good times – the memorable moments. Also, you don’t hesitate to stand firm in the company of your friends. You’re the first to check their ass when they least expect it.

Their success is yours, and their injury or sickness is yours to heal.

Additionally, you compliment rare things unnoticeable by others. You love your friend’s handbag collection or cigar collection and won’t hesitate to take some for yourself.

You Know How To Bring The Wine And The Talk

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Elbert Hubbard once wrote, “A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.” The accommodating homeboy or home girl will toast you into eternity. Your cheers are one for the ages in celebration of anything that brings you’ll together. You know where to get the wine, ice cream, and the smokes and make it a date. Furthermore, you know when your homies are dating the jerk and when they’re the jerk. No glass of wine is too full for a conversation amongst friends.

You’re precisely what friendship orders.

You’re In The Great Holiday Season Now

Listen, the hardcore phase of the holiday season is here. To clarify, Thanksgiving is a wrap! Obviously, if you celebrated, you just participated in the last Thanksgiving of this decade. You made it through! Be grateful. It’s another Black Friday. Love it or hate it, if you managed your money right throughout the year, today can be rewarding. It must be said, there is so much more goods and services on sale than televisions.

Real quick, the holidays are sentimental, exciting, joyous, or depressing depending on the person or family member. There are events that only occur this time of the year that you can’t get any other time. The arts never disappoint and will regale you with plays that are only available, you guess it, now! You should appreciate a community theater or ballet that works diligently to pull off the Nutcracker, Grinch, or A Christmas Carol. These are the classics and they are in season.

Demystifying The Holiday Season

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Truth be told, the title of this section is pushing sarcasm. Unquestionably, a lot folk use this time of the year to relax. Indeed, if you are one of those people, then enjoy the fireside, quiet, and your favorite beverage. Clearly, it’s been a long year. Additionally, the new year is on the way. Don’t let the morose mood sneak up on you and swallow you whole, especially if you spend this time of year alone.

You have to do things on purpose this time of year to repel the sullen and gloomy disposition. Food pantries and kitchen welcome volunteer services. Buy toys and give them out at a children’s hospital in your area. Do your research. No excuses. You, a good friend or family member are responsible to pull yourself out of your funky disposition.

It should be noted, this is a visual, audible, and olfactory time of the year. What this means is Christmas time is in your face and ears. You can smell Christmas in the air and taste it in your mouth on your tongue. Attitude is everything and it can drive you where you want to go and don’t. Moreover, you want to stay clear of being deemed the proverbial Grinch.

In short, you have to find balance during this season. Don’t let it consume you and deplete any of your joy.

Happy Holidays Or Merry Christmas

Some People Are Going To Walk Out Of Your life And You Cannot Fall Apart Every Time It Happens

Listen, some people are going to walk out your life or leave you. However, you cannot fall apart every time this happens. You cannot take it personally. First thing to remember is that being human is no easy task. Your existence is constantly being challenge. The fortitude of your mental stability maybe delicate.

When someone walks away, you’ll always question your role in the situation. If you’re aware of events and able to take responsibility of anything you did, then life will be fine. If you’re strong enough, you’ll even forgive yourself, and offer an apology. At the same time, if you take too much responsibility you’ll spend your time blaming yourself. When a person leaves, and it has nothing to do with your actions, you might not be as accepting of that as you think. Some people just leave because some things end.

Accept That Some People Just Leave And Some things Come To An End

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Look, the universe operates, and life happens. You’ve probably heard the saying, “all things come to an end”. The truth is, some things just come to an end. The life cycle of relationships is not always long lasting. Friendships sometimes become a distance relationship. It feels like they have ended, but in the spirit of friends, we move forward.

Endings won’t always provide you with a good closure. They won’t be the smooth cognitive transition that we long for as humans. Not all endings will provide the physical transition. The “one last time” connection you desire, cancel it. In most cases, you will be left more confuse. In spite of the emotion and physical satisfaction you need, going with logic may be you best way.

You Should Maintain A Healthy Balance Between Head And Heart

Some men are good at interjecting logic or critical thinking in any type of relationship. Women tend to be more emotional and operate from the heart. It is in your best interest to have balance between your emotions and logic. Man or woman, balance between emotion and reason is important.

You must not sway too much in either direction. For example, if you project to much logic, you might not be in touch with your feel. Hence, you should have firm grasp on how you feel, when everything is all said and done. Likewise, too much emotion may cause you to not consider logical point. Points where when people leave, it’s totally independent of anything having to do with you.

This Goes For All Types Of Relationships

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Look, friends as well as lovers may walkout. This not just about relationships where folk are into imitate love consummated with sex. This is about any type of relationship. People will come and go, and some will stay. Whatever the connection, it makes the time memorable. When you look back of the course of your life, you will realize you had different types of relationship. Learn to handle the exits with grace.

Getting To Trust Is Not An Easy Journey With People You Hope Will Be There Forever

With so much happening in the world and within cultures, it’s often hard to decipher where you should invest your trust. Unquestionably, you must nurture and respect your trust and ensure others do the same. Importantly, don’t ignore your trust, it shows others its valuable to you. Don’t allow anyone to misuse it or mistreat it. Guard your trust and be smart with it, no matter who demands it.

Truthfully, we often give our trust away with ease. Folk must earn your trust. I’m not saying be bitter. However, when you extend your trust, the person should be taking a victory lap to gain it. That means that have put in the work before you extend it. More importantly, if a person gives you their trust easily, then question it; especially if you are new too each other. Clearly, you don’t want to be given anything prematurely and have it rescinded when you make a small mistake.

Only Extend Your Trust Back To The Special Someone When You Are Ready

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Above all, trust is a two way device. Indeed the expectation is if someone offers you trust, they will expect an offer back at some point in the immediate future. It’s critical to know that this should not be a deciding factor for you to just fling it away. Be conscious not to offer it up like Sunday dinner and your doing the family a favor.

Determine the right time and circumstances to extend the bridge to your trust. In fact, make them come get it, if they want it. This means you still hold fast to your beliefs. If they are will to do so, then you have attracted them. It should be noted that waiting to long might not sit well with the person. Again, it has to be right for you and not just because a person decides to trust you.

When Trust Becomes An Ultimatum Before It Is Ripe For The Sharing

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Ultimatums are exhausting and simply comes with pressures. If you demand trust or the other person is demanding you trust them, this might not be a good thing. It may misfire. Trust as a deal breaker is fine and wanting to get to trust is even better. However, pressure to obtain or give anything to early will not have the best results. Timing is everything. Wait for it, wait for it! There must be a fine balance.

If Trust Is A Deal Breaker For You

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If trust is a deal breaker then it is important that you find out if the person is capable of being trustworthy. This is often a delicate area, because with social media and expectations, trust is just hard. Mature individuals, who really connect will be better at gaining trust. Others will struggle with discussing the topic. If you find that wanting to talk about trust makes someone unease, you might not want to ignore that type of response.

Changing the subject and just no clear ability to articulate on the subject of trust is a obvious red flag. Honestly, it’s no magic formula when it come to the right time to trust. There are behavior and character traits to watch closely.

Find a good book on trust, in the area of psychology written by a credible profession for additional suggestions. In essence, do your research. Last, trust your gut.

Yes, December Is A Busy Month Too

Any Given Day In December

If you are like most people, then you probably spend the month of December in what you swear is “the free space” month. Free to enjoy desserts you can only get this time of year. Free to enjoy those friends that live so far away, you only get to see them once year, and that once of year is December. Free to make choices you can’t make any other time of the year because you are just too busy being consumed with work, promotion, professional classes, events, and other stuff. You total ignore the fact that December is probably your most busy month. Once you see green, red, silver and gold… its on! What’s on? A non-stop month of endless activities, sugary treats, trips to the mall, parties on top of parties in your personal and professional life. Deep breaths are now required.

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The Infamous Holiday Parties

And just like that, holiday parties are coming at you like January maintenance fees and taxes. If you feel like you’ve attended more holiday parties than you planned by the time you’ve reached the mid-winter solstice in December, then chances are you have. Nope, it is not a dream. Depending on where you work, holiday parties maybe broken down into departments. If you have kids and friends, then the parties don’t stop with the office. Yes, they spill over into the after work after party time slots…but only in December!

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The Decorations

If the holiday parties don’t consume you, then planning for the right decor will surely require your time, attention, and eye for styling things up or down. The holidays have three types of people, those who over decorate, under decorate or don’t decorate at all. First timers, you are sure to be in the over decorate category. You’re excited to show off your new place and your ability to mix and match the best set of Christmas tree to wreath to candle holders. If you have been decorating for 10 years, then you have learned to balance how much setup, because taking down is tedious and boring. You’re probably worn out from all the festivities and new years not mention January is closer than you can imagine. If you are a parent with adult children, but with grand kids, you will probably decorate just enough or under decorate to ensure the take down process goes with easy.

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Time With Friends

For some of you, the December holiday is the only time is about seeing old friends. You and your friends have busy lives and this time is important and mentally and emotionally necessary. It can be some of the most sentimental time shared. If you have long time friends that live on opposite coast, the anticipation builds through out the year, holding itself for moments spent together in December.

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How you decide to carry out this month is up to you. Do it with moderation and respect. For heaven’s sake, you don’t won’t to spend the month of January beating yourself up for out of control behavior…or maybe you do (sigh with a devious smile). Enjoy the last month of the year. This is often the only time of the year that some use to unwind, vacation, see family and friends, have a drink, or attend a special event. Enjoy…happy Holidays and get ready to have a yourself a glorious new year.

The Authentic One

The relationship that never ends no matter what situations or circumstances arises, is the one that holds unforeseeable value. How many of you have that person in your life that’s been their for Always and Forever?  The person is a constant regardless of distance, time or disagreement. This is not the type of relationship you have with every single person around you, but its one special person whose existence has been loyal through time.
They never left you cause they are the good one. There timing is impeccable and it’s not everyday that you hear from them. It’s not sexually, it has nothing to do with it. It’s an authentic connection. Sometimes weeks pass, but when it counts you get the Facetime or the text.

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There is a welcoming feeling knowing that some attachments are worth it. There is no ruining what’s meant for good. You have to cherish these types of rare relationships/friendships. The connection offers you a soft place to always land when the tough ones run their course.